"Advice is what we ask for
when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't."
I recently started working with a business coach, who I initially resisted for a couple of reasons. He'd worked with my good friend and boosted her business beyond her expectations, so there was a bit of legitimacy there. Then, when I got on the phone with him, I realized that what he was saying he could offer was exactly what I needed.
There's a catch.
A business coach can fire you from working with them, if you're not doing what they're saying. My coach is already full up and took me after an hour long conversation about whether we'd be the right fit. Now, here I am, realizing that while I initially thought I would be super stoked and my patterned-A+-student behavior, I'm turning out to be anything but.
Because he's forcing me to look at the fundamentals of my business; he's not sugar-coating money or budget; and most importantly, he's having me redefine what I believe is my worth and my value. The reason that he says most clients don't succeed at coaching, is because they're drawn to the drama and want to keep it in their lives — the stress, the worry, the not believing that everything will work out and having something to complain about with people in their lives, the lack of living up to one's fullest potential. All of this. We say we don't like it, and yet we keep doing it all the time.
I'm stubborn. I've known that for a long time. Because there are two flip sides to every attribute, I've used this perseverance to my advantage to achieve goals that many have expressed are fairly impressive. In homeopathic medicine, you learn that the same thing that can cause you poison can also be your cure — it's just in the right amounts. And, that's much like the balance we're striving for in yoga, or the equilibrium we seek in life. Not too much, not too little, just right. Who thought that Goldilocks taught us from the get go one of the most valuable lessons we would have such a hard time wrangling as we grew up?
Part of me thinks that I'm resistant to my coach's advice, because I think I know better. And, I have a hard time trusting that if I follow everything he says I should do, that I'll not only surpass the goals I've set, but that I'll be much healthier and happier for it. One of his biggest things is to "DO LESS." I'm writing down my revenue streams and his advice continues to be that you need to get one performing consistently, at least at 80%, before you add another one on. For me, because my careers and interests have always been so diverse, I have a hard time whittling things down and putting it on the back burner for later reference. Instead, like most of our culture today, I want INSTANT GRATIFICATION.
Start a new yoga & Reiki business? Sure!
Keep cultivating my freelance writing career? You betcha!
Start teaching online classes? No problem!
Get to penning my memoir? Of course!
And the list goes on from there, because I haven't yet included all the things I personally love to do — surf, climb, yoga, hike, learn, etc.
My rational thinking mind believes everything my coach is saying. My heart and my soul? All of me genuine believes that he's right. But, my habitual patterns seem to have become a monster that are taking over the territory until I've reached a point where I'm now getting emails from my coach with the stern warning, "I've told you several times. Please take my coaching advice."
Okay okay fine, I'll give it a shot. It's not going to be easy, and I bet I'll continue to revert back to what I think I know, but for now, I'll acknowledge this barrier I've set up and spend a hearty portion of my consciousness breaking it down.
Do less. Trust more. Live happy.