My life has been good to me. I've had experiences that people admire, interactions that have shifted the course of my life, and love beyond the boundaries of time and space. It hasn't always been this way... things started out rough, but I'm amazed at how my relationships with my family have transformed to become what they are now. I have a mom and dad who went from berating me countless times throughout the day to recognizing their own mistakes and are now making amends. They actively spend time with me to remind me again and again of how incredible I am and how proud they are of me.
I've been around the world to places where I'm treated as if I were a celebrity, because of my writing prowess, smart thinking, and openness to fostering meaningful relationships. I manifest that which the Universe believes I am meant to have in ways that are beautiful and surprising and expected, all at once. Again and again, I am humbled and grateful.
Today would prove to be another one of those memorable experiences, where I was given an opportunity to speak with Sanjeev Verma, a Vedic astrologer who works closely with Deepak Chopra. What he told me about my past, present and future weren't necessarily shocking, as he affirmed things that I already knew, but he did give me new things to think about and take action on.
The thing that's wonderful about Sanjeev is that his purpose is to help you genuinely move past your blockages, so that you can live your divine right to abundance, health, happiness, and love. He compares it to leaving something you're searching for, but unfortunately, you're looking in the wrong room. You have no idea that you're even in the wrong place, and you could be looking as hard as you're able, but you'll never find it unless by some random happenstance of luck, you stumble upon the other room.
"If you have a good map, and a good reader of that map, you will be able to find what it is you're searching for," Sanjeev tells me. He is here to help you read the map.
I asked him about the difference between destiny and free will, especially because so many people are hesitant to get any type of reading done, for fear that they will be told something they don't want to hear. And, he explained it like this:
"Destiny is like if 1,000 people are on a ship, and it is going from point A to point B. Everyone will arrive at point B. But on the ship, you have the freedom to move around. You will talk to different people and have different interactions. That is free will. You'll still get to point B, just how you get there and what happens along the way... that is up to you."
For me, he informed me that my mind has been searching the world over for something, and I haven't yet been able to figure out what that is. It's been on a relentless and tireless quest for knowledge, for learning, for experiences, that still seem unsatisfactory in some way. Until now.
"You've been through many lifetimes and experienced everything that life has to offer — the good, bad, everything. You're an old soul. There are two types of people in this world. One of them is warriors, who go out and fight and do external things to feel inwardly, these are new souls. Then, there are old souls, who must go inward to have a satisfying life outward. And the reason I'm here now in your life is because I am meant to tell you that the thing you have been searching for all this time is within you. You mind is searching for its seat, and that seat is within you."
I paused, quiet, and he continued.
"The only way you will find happiness is if you look within, because if you are constantly searching as you have been doing, you will never be fulfilled, whole, or complete," he observed, firmly, gently. "You can ask me questions if you'd like."
And I did. Ultimately, when I kept asking about certain matters, he chuckled and said, "That is a decision for your heart. Only you can know that. You must listen to your heart — I can't tell you what your heart wants."
There were so many things that Sanjeev said, which resonated with me as they affirmed things I already knew on some level, either obvious or subtle. He expounded on the benefits of meditation for me, and gave me a mantra to open up the blockages in my root chakra, the space of safety and security.
By the end of the conversation, he reminded me not to focus too much on one thing. "You shouldn't have all the answers, because if there is no mystery to life, then what is the point? That is what makes life intriguing and worth living."
I went surfing after our conversation and caught more waves with confidence than I have in a long time. Yet, I also felt sad for the confirmation of what I already knew. Certain elements of my life are ending, new parts are beginning, and I... am just feeling it all. There's nothing in the stars that will take that human experience away. This is what my soul signed up for when it arrived in this body, when it came into the world exactly on the date, time and place that I shared with Sanjeev. That is the imprint, the snapshot of the Universe that will always be with me. I am divine and I am human, all at once.
"You're not a sadhu, you're not a hippie. You need to find out who you are. You need a major transformation on your way of thinking. Get grounded, you really must do this. The next two years are pivotal for you, and good things are coming, but you must find yourself first. Meditate, meditate, meditate."
I came away from the experience wondering, hopeful, and a bit sad. To pursue the things that he has told me are in my astrological chart, things my heart has already been leaning towards, means doing exactly what he recommended and shifting belief systems/thought patterns/habitual tendencies that I've held onto for quite some time, because they served me once.
Now, it's about meditating. Going inward. Trusting that I am who I am know I am, and living from that place.
"You know the law of attraction?" Sanjeev asked me.
"Yes, like in The Secret," I responded.
"Well, it does not apply to everyone," he continued.
"Hm," my brows raised at his statement, surprised at this assertion.
"You... you are the prototype for the law of attraction. If you go inward and then live outwardly from there, you will experience things greater than you could ever have imagined. If you continue to seek outwardly, you will never be fulfilled or content. But if you go inside, if you meditate, your life will be so so good."
I thanked him for his time, and then hung up. And then, I was kind of floating. I truly believe that you don't hear things until you're ready to hear them. Somehow, it wasn't necessarily like he was telling me things I haven't heard before from others, but he did help me shift something within. Suddenly, life became different. And, it still feels that way.
From a very, very young age, I knew that there was a greater purpose for me in this world. I didn't know how that would look or would it would entail, but I knew that I had a connection to the Universe around me, and that it was my role on this planet to fulfill that destiny.
Here I am. Getting more and more ready to shine. We'll see what happens as I step into the light and live from there...