Friday, July 12, 2013

A birthday wish...

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart."
~Kongzi

In a few days, I'm going to be 35. 

I'm sitting here, because I know there are things I want to say, I'm just not quite sure how to verbalize them without writing an epic novel of the events and relationships that have transpired over the past couple of weeks. 

It might be enough to say for now that everything's turned upside down, which apparently is actually right-side up. There's a settling that's happening, an adjustment and reevaluation phase. Life is exactly where it's supposed to be and while I'm having a bit of difficulty in not wanting to run away from what I'm experiencing, this is as close to truth as I've ever felt myself to be. 

There are lingering parts of me that tug at insecurities, and I'm asking for grace in clipping and untying each string by string. If my gift for this 35th year on the planet is that I become the woman I've always wanted to be, that would be the best way that I've ever honored myself. 

It used to be that I didn't like my birthdays, that in fact, not very nice things would often happen on them, sometimes caused by the person I was dating at the time. This year, I've opened myself up to more love than I've ever thought possible, and the outpouring of people who tell me that they want to celebrate me — and would do so day in and day out a thousand times over — is phenomenal. 

This one is going to be special. I can feel it. And, even if it didn't turn out the way that I expect, I have faith it'll turn out even better. 

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